Serve chilled with a side of sarcasm

Just something I have to say…

His - His as in he owns something. It is his.

He’s - The contraction of ‘he is/has.’ He’s a douchebag.

THEY ARE TWO DIFFERENT WORDS.

THEY ARE NOT INTERCHANGEABLE.

LEARN SOME GOD DAMN ENGLISH!!!!!!

1 note

I would like to just get in a car and drive to no where in particular, but just have a lot of fun getting there.

Just wanted to say this again:

romulanwhore:

sorry if I don’t see a difference between this:

this:

or this:

It’s all LOVE to me.

I wish everyone could see what a beautiful thing love can be, instead of looking at gender of the people in love.

(via mrjaygallifrey)

14,117 notes

The slaughter of the English language

Good thing you can’t spell ‘slaughter’ without ‘laughter’, because otherwise I would have cried myself to death over the pitiful English skills some people seem to have. Where in the unholy 7th circle of hell did some of these people go to school!? It’s effing ridiculous! There are two particular things that seriously just shit me: 1, abbreviations and 2, basic spelling and/or grammar mistakes.

I may sound mean, but honestly, acronyms and shortened version of words have no place in the English vocabulary unless they’re valid. Ie. ‘LOL’, ‘LOLZ’ and ‘ROFL’ are not a legitimate replacement for actually laughing, regardless of how short of time you are, and if you use them in a conversation with me, I reserve the right to punch you in the face.

So, to help you out, here’s a list of inappropriate non-words for face-to-face conversations (I don’t have any problem with using acronyms and stuff in text messages and stuff)…

• OMG, WTF, LOL (and all similar), BTW, FYI etc.
• Devo (as opposed to devastated)
• Totes (as opposed to totally)
• Saying ‘smiley face’ or any other expression (only Jay-Z can do this)

…and appropriate abbreviations and acronyms that can be used at your leisure.

• DJ, VIP, RSVP, WWW, CD, DVD, DSLR etc
• A7X, MCR, CCR, 3EB, TOAD, and various other established band acronyms (established being the key word). NOTE: You cannot abbreviate all band names. For example, ‘W’ is not an acceptable abbreviation for Weezer (and I have seen someone do this). Just… no.
• They’re/don’t/can’t/shouldn’t/we’re etc
• Avo, barbie, servo, Maccas, doco, G’day, and numerous other Australian slang words that have become part of our culture.

I’m aware that my indifference to Australian slang may seem slightly hypocritical, but I believe there’s a very important difference between words that have become part of a cultures identity, and not being bothered to say a complete word because you think you’re cool. Admittedly, a lot of Australian slang probably comes around because someone way back couldn’t be bothered to say ‘avocado,’ so in that case, to make it even, you can punch me in the face if ‘totes’ and ‘devo’ ever become a legitimate part of the English language, and not simply used by teenagers and 20-something year old that think they’re awesome.

Now, I’m sorry, but if you’re 18 and can’t spell ‘orange’, I get the impression that your IQ is about equal to your age. I understand that some people are just born really crap spellers (I know I’m one of those people), and yes, sometimes you just get major mental blanks and you think freakin hell… how the hell do you spell ‘the’ again?!, but there are only so many times these excuses can actually hold up before it becomes ridiculous.

Also, I have a problem with people that don’t know their there, their and they’res. Same goes for were and we’re, and your and you’re. None of these words, regardless of how similar they maybe, are interchangeable with one another.

- There is of place. Think if there’s a here in there, you’re at the right place.

- Their is of possession, eg. it is theirs to keep.

- They’re is an contraction of ‘they’, as in them, and ‘are’, as in the present indicative of be.

Now, following these rules, we end up with the following:

• “I think we should go there.”
• “Hey, did you see their car?!”
• “They’re a bunch of crap, lousy whores.”

I hope you’re getting the picture.

Now, just before I finish my rant, there’s two more problems which I could nearly literally kill you for:

1. People That Type Like This. Capitals are to be used at the start of sentences and for proper nouns, ie, names (Jess, Bob, Rumpelstiltskin), and places (Sydney, Wagga Wagga, Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu [no shit, this is actually the Thai name for a hill in NZ]).
2. Pe0pl3 thAT f1nD it @pPropr!ATe +O uSe CapITAl letTeRs, syMb0l$ aNd/0r nuMbeRS WheR3 tHeY $eE f!t. NO! YOU CANNOT, REGARDLESS OF THE SITUATION, EVER DO THIS INFRONT OF ME WITHOUT EXPECTING ME TO COME AFTER YOU WITH A MEAT CLEAVER WHILE YOU SLEEP (note how capitals help express anger, and give the impression of being yelled at, and so therefore should not be used in normal typed conversation, unless you’re seriously pissed off).

Okay, I think I’m done. If not, I’m sure you’ll hear more soon enough. Thanks for reading. :D

* I understand that spelling and grammar mistakes can be made by even the best most learned people, and I don’t care about that. I know for a fact there’s probably spelling mistakes in this article - I’ve already said I’m not a great speller. My problem is with constant, simple mistakes. I know I’m sounding like a major spelling/grammar nazi, which was not my intention. I just can’t help it. I haven’t used spell check on this, so no doubt there will be some errors (feel free to point them out and laugh at the irony). I’m not a perfect speller (far from it, actually), but I do consciously make an effort to get my spelling and grammar right whenever possible, and better it when I can. As long as you try, I don’t care if you’re crap.

Why does something so simple as cereal complicate my life so much?

Don’t you hate it when you get to the bottom of the cereal box and there’s exactly 1 and a bit serves left. The bit-serve is no where near big enough to actually be called a meal, and yet there’s just that little too much to add to the one serve without making yourself look like a hungry, angry hobo. So, you’re stuck with 2 choices:

1. Have your one serve, and leave that little bit in the bottom of the box to go stale, as it passes from hand to hand, never actually being thrown out because that would be wasteful, but no one eating it because there’s not enough to make a sustainable breakfast out of. Or
2. Chuck that little bit extra in your bowl, chuck out the now empty packaging, and then slowly die as you try and make your way through one massive mother fucker of a bowl of cereal.

Decisions, decision…